A man escapes from prison, where he has been for 15 years. He breaks
into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a young couple in
bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying
the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets
up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife : "Listen, this guy's an
escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in
jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If
he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably
very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I
love you."
His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my
ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we
had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I
love you too!"
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes
his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River
Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is in the air. Marie leans over to
Pierre and says, "Pierre, kiss me!" Pierre grabs a bottle of Merlot and
splashes it on Marie's lips. "What are you doing, Pierre?" says the
startled Marie.
"I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!"
She smiles and they start kissing. Things began to heat up a little and
Marie says, "Pierre, kiss me lower." Our hero tears her blouse open,
grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and pours it on her breasts. "Pierre! What
are you doing now?" asks the bewildered Marie.
"I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white
wine!"
She giggles and they resume their passionate interlude, and things
really steam up. Marie leans close to his ear and whispers, "Pierre,
kiss me much lower!" Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of
Cognac and pours it in her lap. He then strikes a match and lights the
cognac on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the River Seine.
Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms into the air and screams
furiously, "PIERRE, WHAT IN THE F#@K DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"
Our 'hero' stands and says defiantly,
"I am Pierre, the fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!"