Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever now?
If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
Why are stands called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
Why is "phonetic" not spelled the way it sounds?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know
the batteries are dead?
Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a
dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
Behind every great man is a great woman...
and behind every great woman is some guy staring at her butt!
Join the army!
Travel the world, Meet interesting people, and kill them.
Customer Service Sign: Helen Waite is now in charge of
all rush orders.
If you are in a hurry, just go to Helen Waite.
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
Endless Love:
Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.
For Sale:
Taliban rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
Vegetarian:
Native American definition for "lousy hunter."
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool. (Think about it :)
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there - is he still wrong?
Ever wonder about the people that spend $2.00 each for the little bottles of
Evian water? Evian spelled backwards----naive.
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea----does that mean that one enjoys it??
If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers
are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans??
And a final word to the wise...
Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.